107

107
DAYS
Each passing day hurts more then the one before.

Baby Story

Mom and I getting ready for c-section. Don't we both look super hot.

THANK YOU TO MY MOM FOR BEING THERE FOR ME THROUGH ALL THIS
SURE DO LOVE YOU MOM


WARNING-picture overload

BABY STORY
For at least the last month I was starting to feel really sick, it was such a different kind of sick. It was almost worse then when first pregnant and morning sickness. I just didn't feel right and no matter what I ate, how much sleep or no sleep I got I was sick all the time.
I had seem Jed a few times in the last month and we thought being sick was just due to the pancreatitis . Jed said if the pain continued that he would deliver the baby because it could become to much stress on me and baby.
Jed gave me a prescription for Dilaudid to help my pancreas.- it's a very strong pain med.
The weekend before I had Austin I was in a good amount of pain and felt my heart was racing non-stop and becoming harder and harder to breath.
Monday I had a doctor's appointment at 5:30 p.m, I went to that. My blood pressure was high, but not horribly high,but still cause for concern. We already had a c-section scheduled for the 28Th, but Jed was thinking I would be lucky if I made it another week.
After my doctor appointment the pain got worse and worse and by the time I got home I was in tears and had to take pain meds. Through out the night it got worse, so much that I called Jed's emergency line, and told him "I WAS DYING" the pain was that intense. What scared me so much was the amount of pain meds I was taking through out the night and the pain just wouldn't go away. It got so bad that mom and I almost called 911 to come get me.
I saw Jed Tuesday, less then 24 hours later and my blood pressure was getting worse and he wasn't sure why. Jed ordered blood work and said if I could handle one more night then do so, and call him first thing in the morning. Jed said he was almost 100% positive I had
"Help Syndrome"
I called the nurse and Jed was waiting for my phone call and said "We are having a baby today" I was shocked, and scared. I got the boys to their dad's and met mom at the hospital.
When Jed came into the OR he said I had "Oh Shit" written on my face, and was confirmed that indeed I had "Help Syndrome" which is a rare form of Toxemia which causes Seizuers and blood clots which if not treated you can die. The medication they treat it with makes you feel real sick, bleck, it was so not fun, but in the end I got another beautiful baby boy.
Everything happened so fast and before I knew it baby Austin was here.

1 day old

Mommy holding Austin for the first time
The night Austin was born we finally got to sleep about 2:00 a.m. I woke up about 4:00 a.m. to Austin just looking at me from in his crib. I was so exhausted but all I could do is hold him and we talked about how sweet he is and how much his mommy and daddy love him.

When Austin was 2 days old he had to go NICU. From nursing he had such a hard time keeping his body temperature up and his glucose was really REALLY low. A babies glucose should be at least 60 or above, when doctor checked Austin he was only at 27. If you don't get it up it can cause brain damage.
It was so hard to have yet another baby be in the NICU, but oh how I love those nurses in the NICU. The best part was Austin's nurses were the same nurses that both Brock and Zack had, so I knew he was in good hands.
The last night he was there the nurse had me stay in the bonding room next to the NICU, so they could see if nursing him he was able to keep him glucose and body temp up....
After 5 long days we finally were able to go home.

The boys absolutely love their baby brother. I have been amazed how well everyone has adjusted to each other. I am loving being a mommy of 3 boys.
Zack calls him "bobby" instead of "baby", so Austin's nickname is "bobby"
Austin also makes this monkey face, so we call him "George" from "Curious George" because he looks just like "Curious George"

At Austin one week check up he was back up to 5 pounds and doing well.
Austin is the best baby EVER, I think it's due to the fact that I literally prayed and prayed that he would be a good baby. I knew with everything else going on I could not handle another sick or colic baby. Doing this mommy thing alone with 3 boys is the hardest thing I ever imagined,but these 3 boys are my whole world and being their mommy is the greatest thing.
Mommy loves you Brock, Zachary, Austin

NAME: How Austin got his name is we wanted a bold name. Brock and Zachary are bold names and no matter if he was president or a Doctor, we wanted him to have a good solid name.
Austin so his name is like Andy's and then Kristopher is after me. Kristopher is the closes name to Kristina. I figured babies are always named after their dad's or grandpa's and for once since it seems all I can have is boys, then I wanted him named after me.
For the most part Austin looks just like Brock and Zack, but he has Andy's legs to a T and his hands, ears, and lines on his forehead. When he smiles he looks just like his daddy.
I tell Austin everyday about his daddy, and how much he wished he could be here with us. Austin you are so loved
Mommy and Daddy will always love you no matter what.
Austin Kristopher Mower
December 9,2009

Sneak Peek

Austin Kristopher Mower

These are the only pictures I have up loaded so far

Austin and I came home from the hospital Monday night after 5 long days at the hospital.
We are loving being home.
I will post story of everything when I get a free second.
All I can say that being a mom of 3 boys is something else.
Brock and Zack absolutely LOVE being big brothers.
I LOVE BEING A MOMMY

It's a boy

Austin Kristopher Mower

December 9, 2009
7:26 p.m.
5 pounds 4 ounces
17 inches long

(pictures and story to come)

One little Indian

(yes, that is the green hospital binkie in Zack's mouth, almost got him off it, but some day's in the car it's a must. He tells me he'll give them to baby when he comes, hope that's true)

PROOF
This is proof that my boys do love each other from time to time, and can get along.
I was driving the other day and looked in the mirror to see this, my kiddies holding hands, and they did for the whole drive home. I had to pull over and hurry and take a picture so that I will always have this to remember when they are killing each other 99.9 % of the time that at one moment they did love each other for at least a second.

Brock made this in preschool last week. He was such a cute Indian.
Thanksgiving this year was hard. I didn't have my boys or my husband with me. I worked,but got time an half, BUT had a patient die.
Since everyone else in the family was with their families and weren't doing our T-Day until Friday, after work my Parents, Sisters and I went to see a movie, then to Burger King for dinner. I was so exhausted and wanted to lay down in Burger King and sleep, but I didn't.
Friday we had our T-Day, it was such a fun day. Boys sure love seeing their cousin Luke.
3 wild boys running around, and to think there is 1 more boy joining the group at the end of the month. Next year will be a even wilder one.
Saturday we met with Andy's family and the boys were able to see their daddy Andy, oh my heck they loved seeing him. Zack was so cute, he didn't want anyone holding Andy's hand but me or him. He would push away anyone who even tried to touch Andy.
After seeing daddy Andy we went with the Family to Chuck- A-Rama. Grandma and Grandpa Chambers were in shock how much those boys kept eating. It was heaven for them to eat there, they ate everything possible and then some. I too ate my share of yummy food, all you can eat and 8 months pregnant go hand in hand.
Later that day boys and I were suppose to go see the real Santa and Reindeer at the P.V city offices but paper messed the days up. Boys were sure disappointed, so Grandma B and I took them to get ice-cream.
It was a great weekend with my sweet boys.

The Light Will Come

This post is for my husband. You've heard these words many times before, but I feel they have more meaning now more then ever.

The message of this moment is so clear

An as certain as the rising of the sun

If you're world is filled with darkness, doubt and fear

Just hold on, hold on; the light will come.

Everyone who's ever tried and failed.

Stands much taller when the victory is won.

And those who have been in darkness for awhile,

Knew much longer when the light has come.

It's a message everyone of us must learn,

that the answers never come without a fight

And when it seems you've struggled far to long

Just hold on, hold on; there will be light.

Hold on; hold on; the light will come.
(Hold on) If you feel trapped inside a never ending night.
(Hold on) If you've forgotten how it feels to feel the light.
(Hold on) If you're half-crazy, thinking you're the only one
Who's afraid the light will never really come.
Just hold on. Hold on. The light will come.

The messages of this moment is so clear

An as certain as the rising of the sun

If your world is filled with darkness, doubt, and fear

Just hold on,hold on, the light will come.

This song has become one of my favorite songs. I listen to it at least twice a day. These words have helped me in so many ways. Life hasn't been anything what I thought it would be lately, but these words give me strength everyday.

(If you want to listen to this song, go to youtube, and type in Michael Mclean-"Hold On The Light Will Come" the video is awesome)

Brock, Luke,Zachary
Luke looks thrilled huh?.lol.
(Luke is my brothers little boy)

I'm totally copying my ex-sister-in-law on this post, but I thought it was such a cute post.

Brock and Zack are so blessed to have so many cousins to play with, just wish we all lived a little closer so we could get together more.

Brock, Cayden, Zachary
Cayden looks thrilled too.lol.
(Cayden is my sister in laws little boy)

Brock, Corten, Zachary
Look, someone who isn't crying to sit next to my wild boys.lol.
(Corten is my ex-sister-in-laws little boy)

I have to say thank you to Stephanie for all the help she has been.
She has saved me many times an watched the boys for me when my sister couldn't.
These boys love, LOVE, playing with all their cousins.
I laugh because what a mixed family we are,but I am glad the boys get to spend time with all sides of the family not matter what all our differences maybe.

No More Room At The Inn

No More Room At the Inn

I had check up today for this little man. Things are going GREAT still.
Baby is just under 5 pounds. Doctor isn't sure how long he is,
WHY you ask?
well it's because he HAS NO MORE ROOM in my belly.
Baby is nice and snug inside so he can't get a really good picture of how long baby is.
I should be seeing doctor every 2 weeks at this point, but baby Mower is growing so well that I go every 3 weeks.
C-section is scheduled and ready for this baby to enter this crazy world.
Not looking forward to the EARLY c-section time, but oh well.
ONLY 6 MORE WEEKS

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah


My wonderful friend Jaycie always expresses the way she feels by posting a song. Today isn't a very good day. This is how I am feeling today. I miss my husband so much, and truly wonder how someday's I survive. I never knew what it was like to truly love someone not matter what. Never understood unconditional love. Though I did just get a great surprise, but a much needed phone call from Andy. Granted it was only 5 minutes and 32 seconds long, but it was so great to hear his voice.

I LOVE YOU

Fat Panda

Here you go

For those that have asked to see my belly, here it is.

I know, what a fat panda
Only 7 more weeks before this little man is here.
I am almost positive on his name, but daddy and I are still deciding, so you'll have to wait a little longer to know his name.

I found this picture, which just made me cry.
I miss you so much
I miss laughing
I miss being happy
UGH, I miss....EVERYTHING
I seriously am going to kick you something fearce...lol.

5 years old

HAPPY
5TH
BIRTHDAY

I can't believe that Mister Brock is 5 today

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BOY
(I will post about his birthday later, we are going to go play for the day)
Mommy loves you

BIG baby boy

10-25-09
Here are the newest pictures of baby boy
I laugh because this picture is so his daddy. Showing his muscles, just like daddy does.
The first shot we got of him today which wasn't able to get a picture of, well I couldn't believe how much he looks like his daddy. He has Andy's nose, mouth and chin. This baby boy is going to be a heart breaker, just like his hot daddy.

Look at those cute fingers, and if you look close the blur in front of his hand is his leg and foot, he was kicking his foot back and forth so the picture got blurred.

These pictures are from his target ultrasound
09-21-09

Baby boy is just like his daddy. Andy sleeps with his hand always on his face, just like these pictures. Every ultrasound baby's hand is in the same place, that's next to his face.

Today I am 30 weeks. Had doctor appointment yesterday and baby is doing
GREAT
For all of you that know, or don't know my history of having babies, well it hasn't been good.
I went into the hospital at 30 weeks with Brock, had him at 31 weeks.
Brock only weighing 2.6 pounds and 13 1/2 inches long. Brock stopped growing at 26 weeks.
Brock spent 63 days in the NICU.
Zachary, I had at 35 weeks, for the reason my doctor just didn't trust me being pregnant. Zachary weighed 5 pounds and was 17 3/4 inches long and only spent 8 days in the NICU.
That was huge compared to Brock.

BUT the BEST thing

Baby Mower at 30 weeks is
4 pounds and just over 17 inches long. Doctor thought I could have a 7/8 pound baby.
OH MY HECK, that is so AWESOME.

This baby is doing better then good, he is growing so fast that he is already weighing over a week early, for me that is a HUGE deal. I've never had a baby even come close to this.
My doctor and I have already scheduled my c-section date, unless I go into labor. Even the fact that I am reaching appoint where I could go into labor is HUGE.
I am scheduled to have this baby a week early. ME reaching full term is the
BEST THING EVER.
Doctor laughed, told me I am the only mom he's had that has asked to go full term.
This baby is the most active baby I think ever to be. He was moving so much during ultrasound doctor had a hard time getting a good picture that wasn't blurry. Baby is head first and his big butt, which he got from his daddy, well is up in my ribs. Baby is so stretched out that's why I have a hard time breathing and feel like there's no room in my belly.
This baby is growing so different from the others, he is growing out, straight out and looks like I'm carrying a basketball.
Only 9 more weeks and this baby will be here.

Side note, just wanted to tell my husband how much
I LOVE HIM
Miss you so much sweetheart

My love

Words can't express how much I love him.
I never understood what love was until meeting Andy.
My life is so much with him.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER

"Fear not, I am with you, oh be not dismayed,

For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand."

We Do Not Truly Understand...

Joy...
until we face sorrow.

Faith...
until it is tested.

Peace...
until faced with conflict.

Trust...
until we are betrayed.

Love...
until it is lost.

Hope...
until confronted with doubts.

Then when faced with these things, we arrive at a place deeper than mental understanding. It is a place called experience.

Experience then brings knowing...

... and we come to know joy, faith, peace, trust, love, and hope beyond all doubt.

Then we can share these blessings as the most valuable gifts we have to give.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Moving

I guess the day has come and I am sad to say that the house is
SOLD.
Well, someone made and offer and things are in the works to go through, now weather they will or not is the question. I've heard to many people have offers made, and then find out the people couldn't get approved or they back out.
I am having a very hard time with this, but am happy to start a new place and a new life with my sweet, wonderful hubby.

I am trying to find a place to live, and only have a few more weeks until to do so. Some days I think I'm going to FREAK OUT, but am trying to keep it cool
Packing has been kinda hard,but okay. On the other hand the the boys think it's the greatest thing ever, and think it's fun to pack.
Wont lie, kinda nervous for this new chapter in life, but am so thrilled I have a great guy by my side.
I'll keep you all updated.

Spring,Summer, bring on Fall

One day my friend James suggested I try meeting someone online, not to necessarily date,but just to meet people, even to meet other single moms to talk with that were going through the same thing I was.

This was the first picture I saw of Andy, and I was instantly smitten.

After a couple messages back and forth and two nervous people, we finally met.
How happy we are that we went with things, took that leap and decided to meet.
This is how our lives have been since we met, the fun Summer and fun time together we have had.
Things haven't been easy, not even close, with one break up in between, and many others opinions affecting our feelings, we finally decided that no matter what anyone else thought, we were totally, utterly, and wonderfully in
LOVE
We both knew that no matter what life threw our way, we were going to love each other forever.

SPRING TIME
Things started off with FINALLY my sweet, wonderful dad coming home from the hospital.
Dad had been in the hospital since February 4. It was great to finally have him home.

THEN

One night Andy and I had stopped at Walmart to get some goodies for movie night, probably our favorite thing to do together.
We pulled into Walmart Andy was getting out and a truck sped up and started to back up into the spot next to us. I run over to wave the man down to tell him that he was about to hit my door, and my thought was he was "going to take Andy and the whole door down"
Man said nothing, seemed completely fine.
Andy and I headed into Walmart, with the man and his daughter close behind. When they walked by they laughed, both Andy and I had uneasy feeling about this man.
Half hour later, we come out to find
THIS

The mirror to the car completely ripped off.
I was pissed.
We called police, they came and told us
that the mirror hadn't been hit off with a vehicle, but that someone had PUNCHED it off.
I couldn't believe it, that someone would be that mean and heartless to rip the mirror off.
Turns out, man in white dodge truck punched it off. How sad that someone could be that upset.
Lesson learned: next time just let the crazy man rip the whole car door off.
THEN

We said goodbye to a good buddy
I only knew Woogie for a short time,but what a great dog he was. Boys loved him to death and we were all sad to see him go.

WE

Played at Grandma B's in the BIG sandbox

played trucks in the rocks

played in sandbox with cousin Luke.
This boy has no fear of getting dirty.
What a cute one he is.

THEN
WE

GOT ENGAGED
May 16,2009

Andy completely surprised me with his proposal.
Of course I said
YES

THEN
I got pancreatits
AGAIN
Spent few more days in the hospital...UGH.
Doctors found what they thought was a mass on my pancrease, and also discovered we were
PREGNANT

20 weeks

THEN

We did fireworks

Boys road in a parade at Grandma Leslie's house with all the ward, and neighbor kids

THEN

We spent a few times playing at Gateway getting wet, and having a great time.

THEN
Boys learned how to shave.lol. thanks to daddy Andy
These boys look up to Andy, and do anything he does. I love watching these 3 boys together.

THEN

We spent few times at Thanksgiving Point Dinosaur Adventure. If you haven't been there, you must take your kids and go.

THEN
Vacation

Andy and I went to Vegas for my birthday. It was a short,but fun getaway. It was WAY to hot, and minus me getting sick everyday from the heat and being pregnant we had such a great time
just being together.
We are so lame, by the time we got to our destination we were both missing the boys like crazy, and decided next time we just bring the boys. We enjoy our time alone,but we prefer our time with the boys. We just love them so much.
We ate at the Cheesecake factory, man alive it was such good food.

I love Donny. Coming into Vegas the first thing you see is this massive picture of Donny & Marie. Of course I had to have my picture taken.

THEN
I made my first birthday cake

Zack turned 2. I just couldn't bring myself to pay for a birthday cake, as much as I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE sheet cake, I decided this year mommy was making his cake.
Turned out better then I thought it would.

Zack got spoiled, he got 3 birthday cakes this year. I made one for party with my family, then Grandma Leslie had a party, more cake, and then Zack had a party and cake with his dad and dad's family.

Zack and Kirstie's birthday's are 4 days apart, so we had dinner and cake together with my family.
Zack was helping Kirstie blow out her candles.

THEN
we
FINALLY got MARRIED
much to unwanted drama due to others disliking the idea of us getting married.
We finally decided we couldn't let others dictate our happiness and finally
GOT MARRIED

I gained a husband and new brothers and sisters

Also a new nephew, and boys got a new cousin

THEN

The Summer is coming to an end and that means my baby is starting
PRESCHOOL..sniff,sniff
The day I called to sign him up I hung up the phone with his teacher and just cried.
LAME-I know, but I just can't believe he is old enough to attend school.
Brock was born only 2.6 pounds and stayed on Oxygen and heart monitor until he was 7/8 months old.
NOW
He is perfectly healthy and getting ready to start school next week.
We love you so much Brock-a-lee

NOW
I can't wait for Fall. My favorite time of the year.