Hearthache and Happiness

My heart is so full today.
I learned of the passing of one of my most favorite people.
Few years back I worked at Fremont High School in Special Ed, it was truly the best, most rewarding challenging job ever. Kyle was one you just never forget.
I remember taking him to lunch each day getting him to eat his food and him always telling me I had a monster in my belly (pregnant with Brock at the time) I think Kyle new what kinda monster I was about to have (yes I love my Brock even with the monster side)
I can't even begin to express the heartache but happiness I feel in the death of Kyle. I have spent the day in tears,sobs,laughter thinking about all the silly things Kyle would say, then back to tears. My face looks like I've been punched but that's OK.
When I sat down today at my computer these few songs came to mind with the thoughts of sweet Kyle. The song "I Can Only Imagine" when I first saw this video I sobbed,the first part of video where you see the boy in white walking towards our Savior I thought of Kyle and what a wonderful moment for Kyle to FINALLY be able walk to his Savior.

Kyle you will forever be in my heart, you impacted my life so much. Thank you for the sweet memories. I keep in mind you are in a better place. Truly you were an angel on earth and now in heaven.

This song makes me cry every time,especially today.
"Go rest high on that mountain,son your work on earth is done"

The Test

The words of this song just made me cry thinking of Kyle.

Seven

November 9Th Brock turned SEVEN Can't believe my baby is already 7.

We spent the first part the day at Boondocks. Turns out that every year National Adoption Day lands on Brock's birthday weekend, so last 2 years we've spent Brock's birthday at Boondocks celebrating Brock and adoption.
Then we spent other half day at my parents house celebrating Brock seventh birthay and my S.I.L 30th birthday. I made cupcakes in the shape of seven for Brock and 30 for Emily but I forgot get a picture of Emily's cake.


Brock, Austin,cousin Luke and Zachary

Boys played for hours playing all the games...oooh and so did mommy,the car game I may or may not of played like 8 games of it.

Brock and his Aunt Annie were messing around with these glasses.

Look at how cute my little nerd is

We played bowling and Brock just loved it.

(side note-notice Brock's skinny jeans, this kid is literally nothing but skin and bones, so I bought him skinny jeans and he looks like such a stud now) Skinny jeans were made for Mister Brock, this kid so skinny that other pants look so funny on him or way to big, so thank you to the genius who invented skinny jeans my kids looks great in them.

LOVE YOU SO MUCH BROC-A-LEE

I (heart) him

SO IN LOVE

life is just wonderful with this guy

The End :)

yummy snack

OH

SO

YUMMY

Add these two together and it makes for such a yummy snack.

I prefer the buffalo wing kind, but there are other kinds to choose from,

and the sharp cheese is the best with it.

blue BUMBO...FOR SALE

FOR SALE $20.00

Bumbo is in great condition

Austin seriously sat in only twice, he just was so

active and never wanted to sit in it.

moving.......AGAIN

WE ARE
MOVING
...........AGAIN............

Boys and I are setting out on a new adventure, come the end of
this week will be sleeping in our new home.
Stay tuned for more details

I Won't Let Go

I heard this song yesterday,it brought me to tears.
This is exactly how I feel about Andy
He is so loved " I won't let go" EVER!

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that

You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I wont let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I wont let go
Wont let you go
No I wont

30 years in the making

This good looking guy is the
BIG 30
today

We love you so much babe
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I will always love you

Everything I do is for these 3 little boys

I hold it together for these 3 little boys

I love these 3 little boys more then anything

These 3 little boys are my life

I HOLD IT TOGETHER FOR MY BOYS

No matter what
.....I AM......
the one who will always be there for these 3 little boys

No one can ever love these boys the way their mommy does.

I FINALLY FIXED MY COMPUTER
update to come

Summer?????

Dear Summer, we are ready for you,but yet we can't seem to find you
ANYWHERE.

NOT so happy

Baby Austin has been growing and doing so well.
He had his 2 month check up and this is his status
Weight: 10 pounds 1 ounce
Length: 21.5 inches long

He's been such a sweet baby

UNTIL

Tuesday night Austin was admitted to the hospital with RSV and Bronchiolitis.
As you can see they couldn't find a vein because he was getting so dehydrated, so they had to put it in his head. Yes, all that know me know I don't do well with IV's and needles, so to see it in his head just about made me pass out.

As you can see he isn't a very happy baby anymore. Little "A" isn't able to breath on his own, he has been weened down on his oxygen, but still isn't able to breath on just room air.

The first x-ray he had in the ER showed his lungs were clear, but this morning they did
another x-ray and he had developed something on his lung.
Every 12 hours Austin gets a fever, it's strange because literally at 5 a.m. and 5 p.m.
the last 2 days he gets a fever.
Doctor is starting him on antibiotics to see if they can get ride of whatever is causing him to get sicker and cause the fever. His doctor said that Austin is sicker then he thought, but isn't sure what is making him sick. Yes, he has RSV and Bronchiolitis but he also has something else that they aren't sure what.
Doctor said we could be here for another 5 days maybe even longer....UGH....
I AM SO SICK of the Hospital
Granted they are great, but I alone have spent way to much time here.
For the time being I just wait and hold baby Austin, giving him as much TLC as I can.

Mad old man

(This is his mad old man face too)
This is what happens when Austin gets hungry
When hungry he doesn't just wake up with a little cry, it's a full out scream that he wants to be fed, and wants it now.
(I feel like a milking cow, all I ever do is nurse him)

107

107
DAYS
Each passing day hurts more then the one before.

Baby Story

Mom and I getting ready for c-section. Don't we both look super hot.

THANK YOU TO MY MOM FOR BEING THERE FOR ME THROUGH ALL THIS
SURE DO LOVE YOU MOM


WARNING-picture overload

BABY STORY
For at least the last month I was starting to feel really sick, it was such a different kind of sick. It was almost worse then when first pregnant and morning sickness. I just didn't feel right and no matter what I ate, how much sleep or no sleep I got I was sick all the time.
I had seem Jed a few times in the last month and we thought being sick was just due to the pancreatitis . Jed said if the pain continued that he would deliver the baby because it could become to much stress on me and baby.
Jed gave me a prescription for Dilaudid to help my pancreas.- it's a very strong pain med.
The weekend before I had Austin I was in a good amount of pain and felt my heart was racing non-stop and becoming harder and harder to breath.
Monday I had a doctor's appointment at 5:30 p.m, I went to that. My blood pressure was high, but not horribly high,but still cause for concern. We already had a c-section scheduled for the 28Th, but Jed was thinking I would be lucky if I made it another week.
After my doctor appointment the pain got worse and worse and by the time I got home I was in tears and had to take pain meds. Through out the night it got worse, so much that I called Jed's emergency line, and told him "I WAS DYING" the pain was that intense. What scared me so much was the amount of pain meds I was taking through out the night and the pain just wouldn't go away. It got so bad that mom and I almost called 911 to come get me.
I saw Jed Tuesday, less then 24 hours later and my blood pressure was getting worse and he wasn't sure why. Jed ordered blood work and said if I could handle one more night then do so, and call him first thing in the morning. Jed said he was almost 100% positive I had
"Help Syndrome"
I called the nurse and Jed was waiting for my phone call and said "We are having a baby today" I was shocked, and scared. I got the boys to their dad's and met mom at the hospital.
When Jed came into the OR he said I had "Oh Shit" written on my face, and was confirmed that indeed I had "Help Syndrome" which is a rare form of Toxemia which causes Seizuers and blood clots which if not treated you can die. The medication they treat it with makes you feel real sick, bleck, it was so not fun, but in the end I got another beautiful baby boy.
Everything happened so fast and before I knew it baby Austin was here.

1 day old

Mommy holding Austin for the first time
The night Austin was born we finally got to sleep about 2:00 a.m. I woke up about 4:00 a.m. to Austin just looking at me from in his crib. I was so exhausted but all I could do is hold him and we talked about how sweet he is and how much his mommy and daddy love him.

When Austin was 2 days old he had to go NICU. From nursing he had such a hard time keeping his body temperature up and his glucose was really REALLY low. A babies glucose should be at least 60 or above, when doctor checked Austin he was only at 27. If you don't get it up it can cause brain damage.
It was so hard to have yet another baby be in the NICU, but oh how I love those nurses in the NICU. The best part was Austin's nurses were the same nurses that both Brock and Zack had, so I knew he was in good hands.
The last night he was there the nurse had me stay in the bonding room next to the NICU, so they could see if nursing him he was able to keep him glucose and body temp up....
After 5 long days we finally were able to go home.

The boys absolutely love their baby brother. I have been amazed how well everyone has adjusted to each other. I am loving being a mommy of 3 boys.
Zack calls him "bobby" instead of "baby", so Austin's nickname is "bobby"
Austin also makes this monkey face, so we call him "George" from "Curious George" because he looks just like "Curious George"

At Austin one week check up he was back up to 5 pounds and doing well.
Austin is the best baby EVER, I think it's due to the fact that I literally prayed and prayed that he would be a good baby. I knew with everything else going on I could not handle another sick or colic baby. Doing this mommy thing alone with 3 boys is the hardest thing I ever imagined,but these 3 boys are my whole world and being their mommy is the greatest thing.
Mommy loves you Brock, Zachary, Austin

NAME: How Austin got his name is we wanted a bold name. Brock and Zachary are bold names and no matter if he was president or a Doctor, we wanted him to have a good solid name.
Austin so his name is like Andy's and then Kristopher is after me. Kristopher is the closes name to Kristina. I figured babies are always named after their dad's or grandpa's and for once since it seems all I can have is boys, then I wanted him named after me.
For the most part Austin looks just like Brock and Zack, but he has Andy's legs to a T and his hands, ears, and lines on his forehead. When he smiles he looks just like his daddy.
I tell Austin everyday about his daddy, and how much he wished he could be here with us. Austin you are so loved
Mommy and Daddy will always love you no matter what.
Austin Kristopher Mower
December 9,2009

Sneak Peek

Austin Kristopher Mower

These are the only pictures I have up loaded so far

Austin and I came home from the hospital Monday night after 5 long days at the hospital.
We are loving being home.
I will post story of everything when I get a free second.
All I can say that being a mom of 3 boys is something else.
Brock and Zack absolutely LOVE being big brothers.
I LOVE BEING A MOMMY

It's a boy

Austin Kristopher Mower

December 9, 2009
7:26 p.m.
5 pounds 4 ounces
17 inches long

(pictures and story to come)

One little Indian

(yes, that is the green hospital binkie in Zack's mouth, almost got him off it, but some day's in the car it's a must. He tells me he'll give them to baby when he comes, hope that's true)

PROOF
This is proof that my boys do love each other from time to time, and can get along.
I was driving the other day and looked in the mirror to see this, my kiddies holding hands, and they did for the whole drive home. I had to pull over and hurry and take a picture so that I will always have this to remember when they are killing each other 99.9 % of the time that at one moment they did love each other for at least a second.

Brock made this in preschool last week. He was such a cute Indian.
Thanksgiving this year was hard. I didn't have my boys or my husband with me. I worked,but got time an half, BUT had a patient die.
Since everyone else in the family was with their families and weren't doing our T-Day until Friday, after work my Parents, Sisters and I went to see a movie, then to Burger King for dinner. I was so exhausted and wanted to lay down in Burger King and sleep, but I didn't.
Friday we had our T-Day, it was such a fun day. Boys sure love seeing their cousin Luke.
3 wild boys running around, and to think there is 1 more boy joining the group at the end of the month. Next year will be a even wilder one.
Saturday we met with Andy's family and the boys were able to see their daddy Andy, oh my heck they loved seeing him. Zack was so cute, he didn't want anyone holding Andy's hand but me or him. He would push away anyone who even tried to touch Andy.
After seeing daddy Andy we went with the Family to Chuck- A-Rama. Grandma and Grandpa Chambers were in shock how much those boys kept eating. It was heaven for them to eat there, they ate everything possible and then some. I too ate my share of yummy food, all you can eat and 8 months pregnant go hand in hand.
Later that day boys and I were suppose to go see the real Santa and Reindeer at the P.V city offices but paper messed the days up. Boys were sure disappointed, so Grandma B and I took them to get ice-cream.
It was a great weekend with my sweet boys.